It’s hard to know what to do when a friend or loved one is struggling with their mental health. The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) suggests a few ways you can help. One of their big takeaways: “Listen! Listen to what your loved one says. Most depressed people want someone to listen to them.”
Another way to support them is to stay connected. “Being with family and friends is very important for the person to get better,” SADAG says. “Always tell the person that you care and love them.”
Small Gestures Make a Big Difference
In the UK, the NHS has a similar list of things you can do to help a loved one who’s under strain with their mental health. “You might worry that you do not know how to help, you'll say something wrong or make things worse, but the small things we say or do can make a big difference to someone,” they say. “Just telling them you see their struggle can be an important help.”
Use Technology to Stay Connected
Your connected device is a great way to keep in touch and to help. It could be anything from using the Vodacom Foundation’s Bright Sky SA app (available on iOS or Android) to assess whether your loved one is in an abusive relationship (and get them the help they need), or even a simple text message. People consistently underestimate how much their friends or loved ones might appreciate an unexpected phone call, text, or email – and according to a 2022 University of Pittsburgh study, the more surprising the connection, the greater the appreciation.
“People are fundamentally social beings and enjoy connecting with others,” said study author Peggy Liu, PhD. “I sometimes pause before reaching out to people from my pre-pandemic social circle for a variety of reasons. When that happens, I think about these research findings and remind myself that other people may also want to reach out to me and hesitate for the same reasons. I then tell myself that I would appreciate it so much if they reached out to me and that there is no reason to think they would not similarly appreciate my reaching out to them.”
WhatsApp, Gmail, Facebook Messenger, SnapChat… The apps on your smartphone give you dozens of different ways to reach out to your friend and give them a simple “hello” and an unexpected mental health boost.
The Power of Social Media for Connection
Social media can be a very useful tool. In a recent Pew survey, 74% of American teens said social media platforms make them feel more connected to their friends, while 63% said they give them a place to show off their creative side, which is known to improve mood and ease anxiety.
Helping Others Helps You Too
The good news is that by reaching out to your friend or loved one who’s struggling, you’ll also feel better yourself. Another US study – this time by the University of Kansas in 2023 – found that just one connection with a friend during the day makes you happier and less stressed by the day’s end. That connection could be anything from catching up and joking around to having a meaningful talk, listening, showing care, valuing others and their opinions, and offering sincere compliments.
And remember: when it comes to caring, a little really does go a long way.
