35% of South African women have experienced physical and or sexual violence. A woman is murdered every three hours in this country. 60% of women murdered in South Africa were killed by their intimate partner. Let’s face it – 16 days of activism isn’t enough to undo any of it. GBV (Gender-based violence) has gripped our nation – from the purple profile pictures and marching to the singing and lying down – headlines of battered and dead women have become the norm. This time around Vodacom has a new and proactive approach to prevent and fight against GBV.
The Fine Line: Warning signs of an abusive relationship
There’s a fine line between care and control and most red flags are often brushed off as less threatening pink flags. Unfortunately, society often overlooks and sometimes even romanticises these subtly abusive behaviours.
- Isolation: A partner that wants you all to themselves and limits your interaction with friends and family in the name of being so in love with you is not normal – call it out.
- Controlling behaviour: Having a partner obsess about your whereabouts, what you wear and who you spend time with is often misconstrued as overprotective clingy behaviour that society gushes over. This is a form of jealousy and control – call it out.
- Mood swings: Sudden outbursts whereby a partner switches between angry and hostile to sweet and affectionate is not normal. A lot of the time they blame their mood swings on their partner. It’s not your fault – call it out.
- Love bombing: Excessive displays of affection is a common way for partners to gain your attention and trust early in the relationship. This is a form of manipulation and the more they do for you, the more you are indebted to them – call it out.
Preventing GBV: When You See It Say Something
When you see an accident about to happen, the urge to prevent it comes naturally. We hoot, push our hazards on, sway away and even shout warnings to avoid the collision.
The murder, rape and battering of women and children are like collisions that have already happened. Then begs the question, how did I not see it coming? This is a challenge for you, dear reader, to do what you can to prevent GBV. It simply starts with calling it out, here’s how:
- Intervene: Love is blind and true to form, people in abusive relationships often don’t see toxic behaviour as toxic. If you observe any patterns or warning signals normalised in the relationships of your peers, friends and family – have the conversation. Remember it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.
- Support: Don’t ridicule those that find themselves in unhealthy relationships. Instead, be a supportive confidant and encourage them to get out of the unhealthy relationship.
- Get the Bright Sky App: Vodacom’s Bright Sky app (on Android and iOS) is designed to educate people on the early signs of abuse, offers practical advice and provides a countywide directory to GBV support services.
Get support on your terms when you browse the Bright Sky website which has added safety features. You can browse in private mode and even set your prefered language.
